What parts of the Bible, if any, are inappropriate to read to children? Why?

Hos 4

[5] Behold, I am against thee, saith the LORD of hosts; and I will DISCOVER thy SKIRTS upon thy face, and I will shew the nations thy nakedness, and the kingdoms thy shame.

Apart from parable (Song 8:1, Nah 3:5, etc), in reality:

What does it feel like to "lose your looks" to age?

[16] Their children also shall be DASHED to pieces before their eyes; their houses shall be spoiled, and their WIVES ravished.

[15] Every one that is found shall be thrust through; and every one that is joined unto them shall fall by the sword.

[3] And I will make thee swear by the LORD, the God of Heaven, and the God of the Earth, that thou shalt not take a wife unto my son of the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I dwell:

Why do some men want to remain single despite the fact that many women want to have a romantic relationship with them?

Joel 3

[45] Thou gavest me no kiss: but this woman since the time I came in hath not ceased to KISS my FEET.

Song 8

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Gen 24:2–3 on “primitive” gesture of touching a loin (under a thigh) for a vow.

Lk 7

Gen 24

Why would a girl not want you to know she has a crush on you?

Isa 13

Jesus’ Feet Smooching in Lk 7:44.

Jer 8

What did someone say to you that instantly made you realize their life was in danger?

[14] And it shall be as the chased roe, and as a sheep that no man taketh up: they shall every man turn to his own people, and flee every one into his own land.

Nah 3

[14] I will NOT punish your DAUGHTERS when they commit whoredom, nor your SPOUSES when they commit adultery: for themselves are separated with whores, and they sacrifice with harlots: therefore the people that doth not understand shall fall.

How exactly do things get smuggled into prison? Does the sender hide it inside something else very well? Does someone put it in their butt? Do the prisoners make deals with the officers?

[10] Therefore will I GIVE their WIVES unto others, and their fields to them that shall inherit them: for every one from the least even unto the greatest is given to covetousness, from the prophet even unto the priest every one dealeth falsely.

[8] And I will SELL your sons and your DAUGHTERS into the hand of the children of Judah, and they shall SELL them to the Sabeans, to a people far off: for the LORD hath spoken it.

[44] And he turned to the woman, and said unto Simon, Seest thou this woman? I entered into thine house, thou gavest me no water for my feet: but she hath washed my feet with tears, and wiped them with the hairs of her head.

Do guys prefer big boobs or small boobs? Why?

[1] O that thou wert as my brother, that SUCKED the breasts of my mother: when I should find thee without, I would kiss thee; yea, I should not be despised.

[2] And Abraham said unto his eldest servant of his house, that ruled over all that he had, Put, I pray thee, thy hand under my THIGH:

[13] Therefore I will shake the Heavens, and the Earth shall remove out of her place, in the wrath of the LORD of hosts, and in the day of his fierce anger.

How do you go about getting invited to an orgy?